“Aqilah Azmi's Territory”

October 2011 November 2011 December 2011 January 2012 February 2012 March 2012 April 2012 May 2012 June 2012 July 2012 August 2012 September 2012 October 2012 November 2012 December 2012 January 2013 February 2013 March 2013 April 2013 May 2013 July 2013 August 2013 October 2013 November 2013 December 2013 January 2014

I looked out of my bedroom's window. I know there was something (maybe many things) was calling me out there. I jumped off my bed. I hid myself in between the curtain and the window. I created my dim spot - so that I can enjoy the beauty of the view. All I was thinking was I was controlled by the desire to feel the scenery. Greedily.

Have you ever capture the most unforgettable image with your own eyes and only your eyes. To feel how gold the moment was till you shall never be able to explain it by words.

Well, sadly memoirs aren't solid. You can't hold, it's never your option to or not letting the situation go. You cried of how you wanted to stay present to that moment. You struggle you best but in the end you knew that you are just driving by. Move on.

Words somehow never make it to explain the way I critic all these. It when straight to my heart. All I know was I was haunted by undisclosed desires and I could feel the warmness feeding my soul.

Which I shall never forget.



It's hard to face the fact that I'm leaving the gorgeous fragrant from the blooming flowers around my mother's garden. The sweet smell of our morning coffee we used to have. The rains here, clouds and trees are rolling wild and free. Away from the city life. It's horrible to kiss all these goodbyes.

I felt worst when I realized that today is my last Sunday before I get my double, i don't know, triple lives. I'm going to miss every part of the fights I used to involve in.

Yeah right, I'm not going to leave this forever, but I'm sure things aren't going to be the same. Will I be the girl who'd run to her piano and play some songs she created in her mind? Will I ever be the one who'd always bully my siblings, anymore? What will change after this, is.. unpredictable and is.. doleful.

Changes are made for reason. And for better or worst, sometimes, I don't like it to happen.




Hi and greetings dude and dudette!
So I have been accepted to further my study life at UITM Alor Gajah, Melaka. Yes, I was expecting this one, really did. Me mum was soooo hoping me to study in Teaching English as a Second Language (TESL). And praised to Allah I've finally accepted to join it.

In other hands I was quite disappointed with the fact that I'll be leaving home, going states away from home. Yeah. I realized that I'm gonna miss many things after this. Hmm.

In another one more week,  I'm gonna have to forget my favourite things to do. Simply because school starts and I'm going into foundation. I heard it is going to be a rocky road, so pray hard that no matter how tough the situation is, I'm going to be able to obtain a satisfying grade.

Things I wouldn't be able to do for the next few months:

• Having 8  hours of sleep; probably the maximum amount of sleep I could get is just 4 or 5 hours. 
• Social networking soon as my eyes opened. I'm gonna have to go here and there or whatever.
• No shopping. It's not fun without my personal bank. hehueheuhueheuhehuahue
• I can't follow TV series anymore. Perhaps this is the reason why students download movies.
• No movies.
• No more tidur suka hati.
• No favourite shirts and jeans.
• No games. 
• No sleep
• Nope, no sleep
• Uh-uh, sure you wanna sleep?

To be honest, I do not know what to expect in foundation. All I canimagine is the load I'll be carrying on my eyebags,and bored face, typical mood swings and stressing out on my endless presentation and exams/tests which I have to study from chunky textbooks. Oh my. Is it really that horrible? hmm.





Selamat Hari Jadi.

Ya, enam tahun berkongsi gelak ketawa, hingus dan air mata, akhirnya hari ini aku mulai sedar betapa setiap kali berdetiknya waktu, ia amat mencemburui aku. Kini, kau telah pun melangkah ke usia yang lebih dewasa. Kadang kala menitis air mata dek mengenang ceritera dahulu. Di mana engkau, yang sebenarnya aku benci suatu ketika berjaya mencoret kenangan paling terindah dalam jurnal hidup remajaku.

Aku rasa bertuah dek berpeluang untuk menyaksikanmu membesar. Kita masih mampu berkongsi rahsia dan cerita. Terima kasih atas segala budimu, yang membalas mungkin bukan aku, bukan sekarang. Tetapi aku sentiasa doakan yang paling baik untukmu. Tahniah kerana mampu mengubah aku sedikit demi sedikit ke arah yang lebih positif. Walaupun pada akhirnya aku selalu kecundang.

Izzah, terima kasih kerana menjadikan aku orang yang paling manja dengan rakanku. Teringat sewaktu aku demam, kau sampai mahu menemaniku untuk pergi ke klinik. Siapa tidak kenal dengan perangai aku yang bajet wira. Konon mampu atasi semua penyakit. Kalah tok bomoh Hulu Selangor.

Selamat hari lahir yang ke lapan belas tahun. Kita semua tahu akan halangan yang bakal menimpa mungkin lebih mencabar. Tabah, Izzah. Beranilah. Bersabarlah. Yakinlah dengan prinsip hidupmu. Pertahankanlah peganganmu.

Moga kau sukses, dunia dan akhirat. Terima kasih atas sepersalinan telekung yang engkau beri sempena hari jadiku. Terus berusaha menjadi yang terbaik. Moga boleh diceritakan pada keturunanku,

tentang insan istimewa bernama Izzah Yasmin bt Hairuddin.








Her World
I can't do this. I can't forget him just like that. I still care.
But I don't want him, again.

His World
Move on. I can't be the best. I can't make you happy.
You're better without me.





Dear readers, I'm tired of saying sorry for not posting anything. Sometimes, I feel like my sorry isn't worth anymore cause I gave too much of it.

It's been almost 2 months I'm huddling in the dusty darkness, the sadness constricting my chest, the pain, oh goodness, throbbing my knees until I feel like I can't get up anymore. My pasts are hunting me, deceiving me to always think about how problematic I was and I should change somewhat did happened. I feel like I'm lost in the woods of regrets and I can never find the way out.

'I should do this..'
'If I just don't do that..'
'Why did I..?'
'.....'

The opening of May is better then the closure of April. I decided to forget the pasts as I realized that I really, really need to move on with my life. Plus, none likes my existence in my pasts. They want me to forget, and move, walk further. I wish to have the ability to write a new, fresh, happier chapter. Amin.

I'm shock my self as I looked at the calendar, realizing that we're stepping into Ramadhan really soon. How times really fly.

My best friends somehow, they gave me the strength to turn away from my pasts. I really appreciate you girls existences during my ups and downs. Words can't describe my thanks to you girls.

Salam